Sunday, 19 February 2012

Gulag Publishers Inc - Free Publishing & Marketing!

Gulag Publishers Inc has been set up to introduce a dynamic new model of publishing, and adapt to the growing popularity of eBooks.

We offer the full package of eBook publishing services:

  • Our experienced creative team will polish your manuscript, design a sumptuous cover, prepare a beautifully finished version in all available digital formats and publish them on every online retailer (and select large retailers).
  • Our dedicated marketing executives will expertly package your book and sell it to a public that will come soon come to adore you.
  • You won’t have to worry about any thorny legal issues once your sales hit the stratosphere courtesy of our world-class legal division.

The best parts?

1. We take any book, regardless of length, genre or perceived quality by other publishing outlets.

2. While you can usually expect to wait for years to publish your book through other major companies, our guaranteed timeline from manuscript submission to publishing is two weeks.

3. The entire service is FREE!

Our Business Model or ‘What’s the Catch?’

We do not take any monetary compensation for our services. That’s a fact.

What we offer is a mutually beneficial contract that helps our business grow. Not only will you sign a lucrative publishing contract with us, but you also receive the opportunity to freshen up your resume with a highly sought-after work placement at one of the divisions of our growing corporation!

Gulag Publishers Inc is a division of Gulag Mining Enterprises, a growing global force in precious metal mining activities. We whisk you away to one of our precious metal mines and temporarily employ your services as an unpaid worker. You will spend your days working in a magical environment surrounded by sapphires, rubies, diamonds or gold, depending on the location.

One of our happy author/miners
Other benefits include:
  • Improved fitness and coordination with the help of our mine supervisors
  • A chance to experience the wonders of a new country for free!
  • FREE catering services1
  • FREE shared accommodation with other aspiring authors
  • FREE protection gear and equipment checks
  • FREE insurance against mining accidents2
1 Our menu in currently limited to two forms of low-protein gruel, but plans are being made to add a third form.
2 Please note that the policy is taken out against your name, with Gulag Mining Enterprises as the benefactor.

How long will this internship last?

Our fabulous accomodation

Your legal mining work contract (some would call it an extended active vacation!) begins on the day we publish your book, two weeks after you submit your manuscript. With our new flexible model, it ends on the day your eBook makes a mere 1000 sales! After this, you are free to go back to your loved ones and reap the ongoing rewards of your newfound success as an author.

With our publishing team at work, some authors have reached this target in as little as a week! Do not worry if it takes longer, you will be treated well at our mining facility.

Think about how exciting this opportunity is:
  • A fast, free professional publishing service
  • A free ‘working vacation’
  • A high potential for fast success

It’s no wonder that our inbox is full of eager applicants.

Hurry and apply for our scheme now!


  1. Ras, I can't wait for that low-protein gruel. I'm so there!

    1. Excellent, I must inform you that more established authors have to hit 10,000 sales before they are 'released'. Otherwise, welcome aboard!